dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
