38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I believe in your delicious
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
