She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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