the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
