There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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