why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Your dad touched me again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
