Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
