that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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