Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
