she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize