Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
