first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
