I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
