just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
