i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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