I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
