brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
