I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A+ Viking dick
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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