I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
