the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
