im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
