oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
