OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
