I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Randomize
