It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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