My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
