careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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