I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
