Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
