he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
