The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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