First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
