Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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