Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
