I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
