can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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