The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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