it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
