I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize