I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
