Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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