have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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