I feel like abortions should bother me more
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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