I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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