When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
