i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
