Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
