Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
