Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
