when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
