also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just had sex on a roof
pray to the hookup gods
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
