so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
